It’s not Starbuck. She can’t be a cylon because she had a childhood, and cylons don’t start as or have children.

I am willing to accept that she may be a hybrid. Or that she was altered after her time in captivity. Or that she is somehow the key to bringing the races together.

***

Over the course of G’s visit, we worked our way through two seasons and a couple of episodes from Season 3 of Battlestar Galactica (and the Webisodes).

G brought the first two seasons with him, and then I bought Season 3 in spite of my aversion to creating a duplicate library — I had to know what happened.

I got into it, you might say.

(I recognize that this does not sound romantic for two people who haven’t seen each other in seven months, but this is what we do and it was awesome. We fell in love in front of Red Dwarf and built our relationship during the heyday of Babylon 5. We’re not the dinner-and-a-movie type.)

And now discs 3 and 4 of Season 4 are in my mailbox because Netflix is a dirty whore that just wanted me to sign up for extra services to get disc 2. I have ballet tonight — I do not know how I will make it through all of Season 4 before Season 5 premieres on Friday night.

No, I don’t have a DVR.

Yes, this may be a good reason to get one.

SPOILER ALERT! McFunkinStyle revealed a cylon model to me before she realized I hadn’t gotten that far, so be advised: I talk below about things that have happened up through Season 3. If you are waiting to find out who the last five cylons are and not the last one, stop here.

I already knew about Anders (see: McFunkinStyle). I’m glad that the hot cylon ratio is balancing out between the sexes.

I finished Season 3 over the weekend and am livid — LIV…ID — about Tyrell. I heart Tyrell. And now I want to cry over him and Boomer. Those crazy kids…they coulda had somethin’. And before Anders and Tori, the cylons were a little short on the cylon-on-cylon love.

But maybe that was the point! Maybe Boomer and Chief couldn’t make a baby, much less a highly valued hybrid baby! And now there’s little Nicky, sloppy circuits and all.

Poor Kali. 😦

About Tori…she’s not really a character I care about in one way or another. But I am now convinced that Dick Cheney is a cylon, although that’s probably letting him off easy. (I am no longer convinced, if I ever was, that the cylons are pure evil, which Cheney clearly is.)

I do not care at all about Tigh being a cylon because I don’t give a crap about Tigh. At first I thought he was supposed to be the gruff grandfathery character that you love anyway, but then I realized he’s also dumb, racist, illogical, weak, and tyrannical. So eff him. I think it serves him right to find out after all this time that he’s a toaster, and I find the Ellen story arc craptastically ironic.

Who’s the last model?

I have no bloody idea.

It’s not Apollo for much the same reason it’s not Starbuck — he has two parents, and we’ve met them. He could be a hybrid, if Adama Sr. is the last one to be revealed, but only one of the parents even might be a cylon, which would make Apollo a hybrid.

I don’t think it’s Helo. I think his switch would have flipped before now, and he and Athena wouldn’t have been able to produce a baby — or, if cylons can make babies and I don’t know it yet, a hybrid baby — if he were a cylon.

I desperately hope it’s not Baltar. I hate him with the burning fire of 10,000 suns and I don’t want him to have the satisfaction. After the election and his interminable reign, all I could think of was when Mufasa dies and Scar takes over the Pridelands and well and truly fucks it up.

And then, of course, I saw parallels to the American elections for the last eight years. But that’s all behind us now…<deep breaths>…

I think it’s Adama Sr. It’s obvious, but it’s valid and likely and would wrap the show up more cleanly than, say, shooting Tony Soprano in a diner. I’m hoping that Season 4 will solidify my theories, or, barring that, at least show me who sent Adama the note (back in Season 1?) about there only being 12 cylons. I know Leoben told President Roslin that Adama was a cylon and he always lies, but I’m willing to believe he might have been telling the truth.

Just as he was about Starbuck.

/geek-out