Well, y’all, I’m about at the midpoint of Le Detox, and so far, so good. I’ve been religious about it, with one slip…because finding acceptable choices in Harrisonburg was mind-bogglingly hard. So I opted for shrimp fried rice, ate the shrimp, ate the veggies, and ate enough of the rice to feel full.

And the next day, I remembered what it feels like to have MSG and soy in my system.

I am also fortunate to have good friends who alternately mock me for this and make me sauce-free stir-fry with brown rice, and at least give me a bowl of berries while everyone else snarfs down brownie bites and vanilla cupcakes.

And don’t even get me started on the homemade white pizza with carmelized onions that smelled like sex and candy. I was very proud of my will power that night, although, to paraphrase a wise man, some shit we bring on ourselves.

I’m down about 10 pounds and continuing on with the oatmeal and the nuts and the copious amounts of green food. My system is running, for the most part, like a well-coconut-oiled machine.

There’s been some concern about my frequent bouts of fatigue — the kind that make me fall asleep in the middle of writing an email if it’s past my bedtime. I’m confident that several factors are involved:

1. Stress. A bad day at my job is generally better than a good day at most others, but the bad days do still take a toll. And the first person to tell me that stress doesn’t have physical effects gets a boot to the head.
2. Stress. Mom still has cancer. My coping mechanisms have coping mechanisms at this point, but there’s no getting around the plain fact that I will be down one parent before either of us are ready.
3. Natural body requirements:
   1. I have learned that I need more rest at certain times of the month than others. It only took 20 years to figure that out.
   2. Part of the detox process is allowing the intestines and related organs to heal themselves from the damage done by the stuff the detox flushes out. That takes energy, same as getting over the flu. (I sense in my audience the desire to call bullshit…and you can suck it. 😉 )

When I’m done with all of this, I have a choice as to how I proceed. I can add foods back in slowly and see what happens…in which case I might not get to “chocolate chip cookies” until the 2008 election is decided.

Or I can shell out for a device that will prick my finger and take little blood samples, which a lab tech will use to identify food allergies and sensitivities. (Unless a ham sandwich sends me into anaphylactic shock, insurance doesn’t cover this.)

What would you do?