Although our separation should have come as no surprise to either Mike or me (sudden though it may have seemed at the time), it appears a lot of folks were blindsided. Because we didn’t talk much to others about the problems we faced, no one really saw it coming.

This was not intentional, I assure you. In most cases, the friends we — or I — may have confided in are friends with both of us. We have tried to avoid putting people in the middle or asking anyone to choose sides. Additionally, some problems are difficult to discuss in the open air; discussing them makes them real and making them real means facing them and taking action. We have also tried to be fair in terms of the light we shine on each other.

I hope that even those who were taken completely by surprise are comfortable enough with us to ask questions if they need to. The silence was certainly not out of a lack of trust or confidence, but more out of concern for how overblown this stuff can become when even more people become emotionally involved.