Negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.

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January 21, 2008 by 8junebugs

Times being what they are, I’m a little off my public writing just now. Which is to say that I have plenty I need to write about, but it’s still at the cramped-hand journaling level, rather than the here’s-what-I-got level.

Last week, on my way home after a particularly long day in a particularly difficult week, my brain had a bit of a lie-down. I was within sight of home, at an intersection I cross at least once, most days. I don’t know exactly what happened, or how, but the result was the feeling of “coming to,” still behind the wheel, with not one clue where the hell I was. I had not passed out, I had not fallen asleep. The light was still red. But I was flummoxed — no idea where I was or how I got there. I looked to a street sign and it said Arlington Ridge Rd., but I didn’t think that’s where I was supposed to be. But in this area, most streets have two names (the cool ones have at least three), and I realized I was at an intersection where the name changed to the street that would get me home.

No accidents, no consequences, but it freaked the hell right out of me. There’s a difference between the kind of auto-pilot that kicks in before your coffee in the morning and the one that results in lost time. I have gotten worse about dealing with stress as I’ve gotten older, but this is beyond what I am willing to endure. My system is not allowed to power itself down without my permission. (I blame my cell phone, which powers down all the time without my permission and is clearly a bad influence.)

Between work life and home life, now is a really bad time to buzz the tower.

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