Last night we had the conversation about who, locally, would be able to take care of our kids in the (however unlikely) event that both of us develop C-19 complications and have to be hospitalized.

So…that happened.

When you become a parent, you’re forced to think that out, right? Who’ll be your kids’ guardian in the event of your untimely death, should their other parent also not be an option for whatever reason? In our case, with family far apart, at different life stages, and with different resources and parenting styles, that’s an even thornier question, but we can answer it. We can even have a second choice in mind — second not because they’re less amazing, but because of logistics and location.

But Contingencies In The Event Of A Pandemic isn’t a heading I’ve seen in a Will. Okay, so Intended Guardian is on board and would take the kids in a heartbeat should something happen to us, but in this case, the kids have been exposed. What’s the impact on the other family (in this case, it’s unlikely to be a deterrent — our first choice is just like that)? How fast can that person get here during a lockdown? How can we make those wishes known before our kids get moved into some sort of system, whether it’s medical containment or foster care?

WHO THE FUCK EVEN THINKS ABOUT THIS?

We do. Kudos to me on this one, actually.

I bought a bounce house and it arrived this week. It helps a bit with the wiggles. It’s going to trash our power bill, but hey, we aren’t paying for preschool for at least a month, so…

We’ve been walking over to the sports field at the local elementary school for a change of pace and scenery. Occasionally, a few other people are there, but there’s plenty of space and no playground — just bases and bleachers and a big open field. I need to put a fitness goal around the bleachers…I hate running and I hate bleachers, but I can definitely feel my motivation waning as the possibility of competing before fall, if then, drifts away.

I gave up a workout last night to bake cookies (and drink gin). I got up in time for my planned workout this morning but just couldn’t get off the start — I went back to bed, got up, showered, ate breakfast, and made it to Costco before the lines started. I did not make it from there to Trader Joe’s before those lines were around the lot and up the hill over the freeway. I was able to pick up Maggie’s insulin without mishap…except for having to put it on a credit card.

I’ve been shifting resources to pay off credit cards as much as possible. I’d planned to take a little more time for this, but against the expectation of preppers everywhere, virtual payment is a lot more welcome than dollars or gold bricks right now. So.

We’re still fortunate in our health, resources, abilities, access to tech, and connections to the world outside this house. It’s hard to feel it, especially if you feel too isolated under normal conditions. “Me” time is hard to come by — mine is every morning I have practice. But we can’t go to practice, we can’t risk exposure for a sitter so we could get out and scull, and it feels unfair for one parent to always be the one left at home for the things we could still do — take a bike ride, or take out a single on the lagoon, or go for a solo hike without worrying about corraling kids or a dog. I’m the only one who could go do those things, so we can’t evenly “spell” each other the way some parents can and that is more of a burden now.

Like all parents, we’re at a point in our timeline when our kids need more from us to help them navigate what’s happening and we’re less prepared to offer it. I parent better when I’m rowing — this has been true since I picked up an oar.

In the absence of that, I need to reset the priority on my health and fitness.

…just as soon as the cookies are gone.