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There’s one week left until I can shower without plugging my ear with half a cotton ball coated in vaseline.

Prior to this ear surgery, there was no vaseline in my house. When this is over, I’ll be thrilled if I never have to touch that stuff again. I know there’s some connection between vaseline and babies and diapers and whatnot, but…Honey? You’re in charge of whatever part of baby-raising involves petroleum jelly.

New poll: What two words strung together are anywhere near as gross-sounding as petroleum jelly?

No. Really. Think about it. Petroleum jelly. How could anything made with that be good for you…or for anything? Ew.

Anyway. One week. There’s still stuff in there. It still feels a little clogged. I can hear fine, for the most part, but am ridiculously sensitive to noise. As much as I enjoyed my friends’ son’s first birthday party this weekend (cake! and babies! and awesome little kids who are not babies anymore AT ALL!), I needed a bit of a lie-down afterwards…and a handful of Tylenol. Same thing for shopping with M. Kruse the Shopping Muse on Sunday — fantastic time, but the background noise in Panera leveled me.

As I near the end of my recovery, G is starting his own upgrade. Today is cataract surgery #1; cataract surgery #2 is next week. Although we’ve been told how simple and quick the procedure is, it’s still a doctor removing the lens from your eye and replacing it with an artificial one, then doing it again on the other eye. (And I can’t be there — still grounded, plus all that work and thesis stuff…)

Cataracts at 35 are unusual (his 70-year-old dad just had the same surgery last month), but G was told to expect exactly that when his RP was diagnosed. The surgery won’t change the progression of the RP, but it should alleviate a lot of day-t0-day issues, such as how badly a glare on a screen affects his vision.

Which is a lot.

Good thoughts and prayers are welcome, if y’all are so inclined. We’ll also be counting on your votes for Bionic Couple of the Year, pre-retirement division.

~~~

The Doctor: We surrender. There’s no need to damage us, we’re good stock. We volunteer for the upgrade programme. Take us to be processed.
Cyberman: You are rogue elements.
The Doctor: But we surrender.
Cyberman: You are incomptaible.
The Doctor: But this is a surrender.
Cyberman: You will be deleted.
The Doctor: But we’re surrendering! Listen to me, we surrender!
Cyberman: You are inferior. Man will be reborn as cyberman, but you will perish under maximum deletion. Delete, delete, delete, DELETE!

~”Doctor Who” Rise of the Cybermen (2006)