Quotes from the World’s Best Boyfriend

Pre-surgery, regarding risks and recovery:
“I’m blind and we can’t fix it. If you go deaf, we’re screwed. Let’s do it.”

Post-surgery, regarding my inexplicable need to heal faster and do more earlier than directed:
“Think of it this way: You’ve just had your skeleton altered. It’s okay if you need a little help for a while.”

I know. Totally a keeper, right?

Also, you know how sometimes you’re talking and you feel the need to yawn, and you wind up yawning and talking at the same time? Yeah, I’ve learned not to do that ever again. It’s like I’m yelling in my own ear over the sound of waves crashing.

My current Hearing Problem is dealing with layers of sound in places like Subway. I’m down one ear and the one that’s working isn’t accustomed to carrying the load. My right ear can’t quite handle three people ordering at once, the hum of the soda machine, the 5-year-old Top 40 muzak, the ding of the microwave, and the sound of traffic every time the door opens. It shouldn’t have to for much longer, but I finally feel like I have a little perspective on sensory overload.

My follow-up appointment is today and the rest of the surgical packing goo will come out. I’m terrified that the doctor will find an infection, which would be ALL MY FAULT for incompetently sealing the ear canal with vaseline-coated cotton balls before showering. Which, for what it’s worth, ain’t easy. I can calculate Cronbach’s alpha (although I would greatly prefer not to), but I am incapable of keeping the inside of my damn ear bone dry.

G keeps assuring me that it’s unlikely I have an infection if my temperature rarely rises above 96.5. And that’s higher than it was two days ago, when the number made him wonder why I’m not dead from hypothermia. I haven’t stopped to google that, but I’m confident hypothermia happens below 90 degrees F, yeah?

Regardless, it’ll be nice to no longer feel like I reallyreallyreally need to clean out my ear. Former roommates in the house may recall that I obsess slightly about having my ears, nose, and throat clear (and I crack my toes. A lot.). I’m adjusting to not blowing my nose and cleaning out my ears as part of my morning routine…and I’m a little grumpy about it.