Three signs posted in my lobby this evening:

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A water main has broken from the street level due to the freezing temperatures and the city water company, American Water, had to shut the water off and we are making emergency repairs today. We do not have an ETA for when these repairs are expected to be completed and it is possible that these repairs could go into Thursday morning. We advise you to purchase water from a local grocer to cover your needs until then.

We thank you for your patience as the city resolves this matter.

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ELEVATOR 2 [of 2] IS OUT OF SERVICE. IT WILL BE REPAIRED on 1/7.

[i.e., once you purchase a couple liters or gallons of water, you may want to consider carrying them up the stairs instead of waiting for the one working elevator…which is being used to carry the building manager down one level instead of carrying four to six residents up six, seven, or eight levels.]

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EARN XTRA CASH!!!

Earn a double referral bonus for bringing new residents to the building. Get a $400 rent credit (in April 2010) if your referral signs a 9- to 14-month lease.

Enhhh…maybe not.