Dear Working World:
Your grandmother was right. You do catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Given the choice between “could you do X?” and “I expect you to do X,” always go for the request over the order. Especially if the person on the other end outranks you, has considerably more stuff to do than you have, and has not been sleeping well. I’m pretty sure anyone who has ever known me would say asking me to do something is more effective than telling me.

Through gritted teeth,
Jen